The walls are closing in on me tonight

Of course you know my post title comes from the good-humored song "Ballad of San Francisco" by Caedmon's Call. And of course you know that there is nothing harder than deciphering the future. There are two things that bug me about thinking about the future. Number 1 is the way that we are forced to think about it because so many people want to know. Secondly, we seem to do a great job of boiling down our futures to one or two things...

Which leads me to a discussion of understanding the will of God. What is the will of God?

In all our wondering about the future, we assume several things. First, we assume that there is something very specific we are to do. And secondly we assume that God knows about this and will tell us if we ask him enough times.

Now, i'm not gonna go in the direction you might think I'm going to go. I'm not going to say that there aren't specific things God wants us to do, I'm simply going to say that I think we miss the point when we ask God to help us decide our decisions.

We are always wanting to know the specifics of everything. Like where we'll live, what we'll be doing, and who we will be around. It seems like I do this all the time. I'm always asking God to help me find out "what's next". But embedded in my heart is a quiet fear. It's the fear that I'll miss out on "what God has for me" if I don't find exactly what it is God wants me to do. It's the fear that there's that ONE specific thing and that if I miss it, it's all over.

But the more I've been thinking, the more that just does not make sense. The Word tells me that I am to take up my cross and follow Jesus. That I am to love the Lord my God with everything I've got and to love other's the same as I love myself. Other than that it doesn't tell me that I'm supposed to be a doctor, lawyer, or minister.

Here's the point: I am to be in communion with God daily, following Him every step of the way. If I truly believe that the Spirit will "guide me into all truth" (John) then why am I so worried about finding that one thing? Will I trust God enough to rest in the promise that I have a hope and a future that are a part of His plans? (Jer. 29)

Jesus wants me to follow Him. That's the will of God. Everything else takes second place.

but why is that so hard?